You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: Felorin says, “When man sit on toilet, he is high on pot.”

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: Furres that Pray together Breakdance together.

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: Don’t ever try to take on a water pidgeon. They don’t exist.

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: Shhh! I’m hiding from the baker in here!

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: What do you think I am, a fortune cookie?

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: When you see someone in trouble, remember: It’s better them than you.

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: Amia’s a goober! Love her!

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: It’s dangerous to go alone, take this: #SK

You eat a cookie. A small note has been baked into it. It reads: Li’Yanna gave you this cookie in good faith. Use it wisely.

The Godfather of Furcadia, the beloved man who sits in the corner of Naia Green’s coffee house eating canoli’s all day is reportedly dying.

At last check, The Godfather was located inside Furrabian Night’s Hospital, where he has been carefully ministered by Youlanda in an effort to keep him alive.

Youlanda has been seeing the Godfather for a number of years; it is surmised that when he dies, she will be taking over directly for the elderly man who has so captivated the hearts of Furcadia.

The Godfather had humble beginnings back in Itally 1927. He was born to a poor dirt farmer in the back hills. He was poorer than the dirt his family farmed, but he seemed happy. In the mid forties, he took his leave from his family. Three days later, Hitler began his march.

He found his way to a small cafe in Italy, and from there he began to exert his influence. Always a bright young man, he quickly grew in power until Mussolini himself was forced to take him into consideration when he was making plans with Hitler.

Nearing the end of the World War, The Godfather realized that he had created a lot of enemies while working with Mussolini, so he decided that he would lay low in The United States. He caught the first boat available out of Italy and set sail immediately.

Whenever he got to America, he realized that he could carve out his own empire, and so he began. First by shaking down street thugs, and then by working his way into organized crime. It was slow going at first, but he quickly fashioned a name for himself that would rival that of his name back in Italy: Grubsy “The Breaker” Bones.

In the 1990’s The Godfather had a freak encounter with Felorin, then going by the name “Dr. Cat.” whenever someone would indulge his crazy eccentricities. Felorin introduced him to Talzhemir, and it was love at first catbath.

The Godfather pumped a lot of money into Furcadia during those first few years, all the while continuing his courtship with his feral genie he occasionally referred to as, “Penumbra”.

Their love was not meant to be, however, and in 2004, they broke up. If you’ll remember, that is the same year DEP had a large PayPal scandal near Christmas. That was caused by The Godfather’s scorned heart; he had lashed out irrationally in an attempt to show that he was still capable, even in his old age, of commanding power.

With the failure of that attempt to ruin Talzhemir, Godfather decided to retire. A year later he was happily dating Youlanda and has taken up residence in the Naia Green Coffee Shop ever since, whittling away the days with tales of an Italy long lost.

Now he lays, hardly able to draw breath, waiting for the end to come with his beloved Youlanda by his side. It is said that he has called for a minister, and the two are set to be wed as soon as one arrives. Youlanda readily agreed to the marriage and has called in her personal priestess from Leriune to perform the ceremony.

The ever-lovable proxy, crafted by Cluracan, Furnarchy 2 has been revealed to steal passwords.

Not Furcadia passwords, however!  This has been stealing the passwords to bank accounts across the world and funneling the funds therein, (secretly) to Cluracan. This has been going on for years.

It started with Felorin, who was the first person to fall prey to this scandal. Cluracan’s insidious plan has managed to net him over three million dollars over the past six years, all in small transactions of 5 and 7 cents at a time.

How did he do it? By convincing everyone that he was planning to use his proxy to steal Furcadia passwords. When that word got around, everyone tried to snatch up the latest release of Furnarchy so that they could complain to DEP about how their passwords had been stolen and how Cluracan was stealing their digos. This, however, failed completely, and the proxy’s common joke became, “Furnarchy steals passwords.”

The proponents of that joke never knew just how true their words were. Now, the FBI has launched a full investigation into the matter. If you’ve ever used Furnarchy 2, it is suggested that you stop immediately, before it is too late!

Have you heard of the Mandaliet Furcadia Quote Database?

Well, it is owned by The Sith.

The Sith are proponents of the Dark Side. They use anger and fear to strangle the galaxy into submission using nefarious weapons such as a Death Star or a Sun Crusher.

Now the Sith have cajoled a new weapon together, one that threatens the furry sanctity of Furcadia itself.

The Furcadia Quote Database is meant to undermine the very core of Furcadia’s Elite and make them seem irresponsible. Here is an example of how they’re using their powers to make a highly popular Guardian seem like nothing more than a common drinker:

Loomin: What are you drinking?
Procyon: I’m consuming adult beverages responsibly.
Tia: I’m not

It seems very clear that they are using their newfound powers to subvert and divide the Furcadia Population. They’ve even begun using it as an attack point against Furcadia’s Supreme Commander, Felorin:

Emerald Flame: Poor Felorin’s paws must be hurting!
Vadim: Tell him to stop jacking off

Even the fantastic sanctimonious could not stand up to their Sith powers, saying:

sanctimonious: Once in my life even I can lose!

While they were talking to him, they used their command over the Force to illicit secret and terrible information about his personal life:

sanctimonious: I always fake it, when it comes to women.
sanctimonious: No pun intended.
sanctimonious: My goodness, did I just say that? 😛

Will Mandaliet become our new Sith Overlord? What further plans does he have for his Quote Database? Only time will tell.

In recent months, around the world, underwear has gone missing.

Local law enforcement agencies have been tracking severe numbers of underwear thefts being reported from around the world. Interpol has been called in to try and put a stop to this embarrassing, if not completely weird crime spree. It is feared that some large crime syndicate with a weird fetish has been snatching these knickers for their own nefarious reasons.

As Interpol pushes ever closer towards the knicker-snatchers, the crimes continue to spread across the land. They started in Russia, moved to Europe, and have recently begun to surface in Japan, China, Australia, Canada, and Mexico.

People in the United States thought they were safe until 92 year old, Patricia Meedleson woke up with her bottoms missing from her drawer.

This crime has even invaded the virtual world of Furcadia, taking it’s citizens by storm. It has been said that the crime syndicate has even spread it’s corruptive paws into the Furcadia elite. Guardians have been accused of lace-silk-stalkings and other such ‘delicates’.

We tried to get a comment from Cironir, but he was unavailable. His offices said there was no official statement, but sources within DEP state that there has been a secretive covert investigation started. Apparently someone thinks that Felorin’s briefs will prove a tempting snatch, so they’re working to lure out the thief with those. InterPol has given DEP full access to it’s resources in an attempt to flush out this underwear-nabbing fiend.

There are a few vocal minorities in the Furcadia population who deride DEP for their current course of action, claiming they are merely using InterPol to get free money to fill their coffers. Nobody from the Wisdom Tree was willing to go on the record and comment, fearing DEP backlash.